Terminus
by Swift-Star9
Summary: He hated to lose. Post chapter 96 spoilers.


**A/N** : Merry Christmas! I've had this plot bunny hopping in my head for six months. Sat down and wrote it in the holiday spirit of kith, kin, and suffering.

 **Disclaimer** : I'm a grad student. Of course I don't own anything.

* * *

The fire whirls climbed into the sky like daggers directed at heaven. Yukio watched the sentinels of a world aflame in dread. He was shivering uncontrollably. The ground shuddered and hot winds tore up the devastated landscape.

Satan laughed. He swept his arm forwards and unleashed a wave of fire. The wave hit Yukio in the chest, slamming him against the wall with an ugly thud. He was paralyzed, unable to move, helpless to the massive force in front of him.

"Haha! You're pissing your pants, you're so scared!" Satan taunted, moving towards him unhurriedly. "You pathetic whiny brat."

It struck him now how stupid it all was. Mephisto Pheles and Shiro Fujimoto had thought they could defeat this monster? It was impossible! The power before him was like a typhoon. His and Rin's power were like a single raindrop compared to it!

Satan halted before him, a cold look in his twisted eyes. He viciously grinned down at Yukio.

"Now that Assiah is mine, I have no use for you," he said, slowly kneeling by Yukio's side. "That's right, that's right. I promised you a quick death, didn't I?"

Yukio stared up in silent assent. This was the end, wasn't it? A slight smile appeared on his face. He betrayed everyone. He betrayed dad. He betrayed Shiemi and Rin. He deserved this.

"Juuuuust kidding!"

He blinked and clawed hands lunged for his eyes. His world turned blue in his terror, but there was no force behind the eyes anymore. No safety net.

He screamed. The fingers rummaged behind his eye socket. The claws scraped the walls, cutting away muscle and snapping nerve. All he saw was blue. Then red. Then nothing.

"Did you think I'd let you keep what's not even yours?" said Satan. "You piece of shit, you made me save your weak ass over and over."

Yukio crumpled, falling on his side. The pain radiated and throbbed more than he could imagine. His face and nose burned. Everything hurt except where his eyes had been, which had gone completely numb.

"Die. Slowly and pitifully. For every time I interfered. Think of it as paying down the debt you owe!"

The cruel laughter enveloped the world as Satan walked away. Yukio shook violently on the ground. Everything was cold, so cold. His mind was hazy. He couldn't focus, couldn't think…

The blood running down his face woke him up, cold and wet on his cheek. He heard distant voices amid the now-quiet flames. He didn't move, focusing his dwindling energy on managing the pain. He was still shaking. He knew he had to been in shock. The blood around his head sloshed, sticky and congealing.

He was going to die.

"Yukio! Where are you? Yukio!"

Rin…?

"Over there!" That was Suguro. "It's Okumura-sensei!"

Someone rolled him on his back. He didn't have the energy to do anything but groan. The pain was so much.

"Oh my god..."

The voices of his ex-students cut in and out around him. He was so tired. Pressure was on his face and neck in vain attempts to halt the bleeding. His consciousness drifted as he heard fragments of conversation.

"His eyes are gone…"

"… lost a lot of blood… don't think he'll make it…"

"… won't accept that!"

Rin's arms were wrapped around him, holding him close. His awareness stirred slightly. He heard flames roared all around them. Huh. They were warm. Shiemi had once said that, but Yukio had never really noticed it himself before. It made sense. Rin was always caring and helped others. He, on the other hand, was defective and had been since birth.

And he wasn't worth it.

"Don't," he said. "Don't… save me!" He weakly shoved Rin to no avail. The mild effort sent his pain skyrocketing and he became lightheaded, nearly slipping into unconsciousness.

"No! Stop pushing me away!" Drops of something fell on Yukio. He suddenly realized they were tears. Rin's tears. They stung on the open wounds.

Dammit. He was a failure. Why wouldn't Rin just accept that!? He'd brought this on himself. This pain, this situation, it was his fault. It was karma. It was all what he deserved!

So why did he feel like this? Why was there this hot coal in his chest, regret and sadness and something else, something, he didn't even know what!

"Please," said Rin, clinging tightly. "Just stop it. After Dad… I can't lose you too."

It was like a dam in Yukio's chest burst. The shame and despair, grief and madness, everything broke free. The burning feelings consumed him.

He didn't deserve forgiveness. But…

" _I can't lose you too."_

He was selfish. The moral calculus was crystal. Justice meant someone like him wasn't allowed to walk away. Satan was right. His life was the only thing he could give to balance the books.

But he hated to lose. He didn't want to. Not again. He didn't want to lose again… he didn't want to lose _Rin_.

The realization wracked him violently. Tears began to well up from the destroyed area where his eyes used to be. His hands clutched the thick fabric of his brother's exorcist uniform, so much like dad's. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to never see Rin again.

He didn't want to die.

He wailed, crying hard and relentlessly in Rin's arms. Dad had left them behind with half-truths and secrets. But instead of the rage and fury he'd felt before, he was full of grief. He had wanted to strike back against dad's lies, but was now ashamed by the sheer vanity of that desire. He would never see dad again. Everything was final and it was unfair.

"Easy there," said Rin, rubbing his back in circles.

"I'm sorry," said Yukio between sobs. "I'm sorry."

He felt it all. It hurt, but it was like the missing pieces of him had fallen into place. Something was closing the void that neither apathy nor anger could help. He was again the shameful pathetic child he had hated, but for the first time in years he felt whole. He didn't fight it.

Yukio let the emotions take him. As he did, he felt warmer in the fire surrounding them.

His sobs slowed when the odd thought struck him… He should've been dead by now. Somehow the pain that had been overwhelming was merely a distant throb. His face wasn't burning either.

"What is it?" said Rin, picking up on his brother's sudden sobering up. He partially pulled away from Yukio. There was an audible gasp among his classmates.

Yukio's hand went to his face. The blood was dry and the area around his eyes was warm. He felt blue fire passively dancing over. No, not passive. It was healing. He knew Rin's power better than anyone, and that wasn't something it could do for anyone but Rin. And his eyes…

He couldn't believe it. Out of the nothingness, the darkness transformed to barely lit red and he started to make out shapes. The complex tissues were knitting together. He ground his teeth as dull aching replacing sharp stabbing.

He blinked and saw. Rin was in front of him, bloodied and worn. They looked at each other shocked.

"Uh," said Rin. "Didn't know I could do that."

Yukio turned to see the world around him: the other students, the landscape, and the vast sky. His vision was clear. There was no blue fire obscuring the way anymore.

He turned back to Rin, awestruck. There were no words. The tears stung at his repaired eyes and he reached towards Rin. Rin flinched, but to his surprise Yukio pulled him into a hug.

Rin looked down at his sibling. He smiled in recognition. Yukio was always a crybaby. Here he'd been so scared that he didn't understand him anymore. Some things had changed, but not what mattered.

"It's okay, little bro," said Rin. "We're gonna be okay."


End file.
